Know Me LORD

Waking up rather groggy today, feeling this heavy weight on my shoulders. Unsure of how to describe or pinpoint that vast unseen weight, which created this fog, affecting my inability to think clearly or make choices. I looked at the clock and it was nearing 8am. I said “God we need to talk.”

I sat in my quiet time place, had my Bible before me, my journal and the door closed. I sat there for a moment, anxious and longing for connection with our Lord.

Psalm 139- I was drawn to the first and last verses: “You have searched me LORD, and you know me… Search me God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”

What I love and appreciate about these verses and their relation with each other is that in the start the psalmist is acknowledging God’s power and knowledge. In the end, the psalmist wants God to know everything about him and is opening his heart to be vulnerable, knowing that he is not “perfectly pure.” It is one thing to know we need to change or surrender something; it’s another to be active emotionally, mentally and physically.

A waterfall of emotions flowed out of me, knowing our Lord is listening. Here is a section of my prayer “We ALL need you so much Lord. I long deeply to heal and help people, to hug the world. Everyone needs hugs, love, hope and acceptance. I ask for your rainbow of healing to shine. I ask for you to rebuild the temple walls, walls that unite, not divide. I ask that we see through your eyes, hear through your ears, speak through your Holy Spirit, and touch with your love, compassion and grace. We are all broken, needing you Lord. May we learn not to depend on each other for our needs, but depend on you, knowing you use your people to help. May our world grow in faith in you LORD. May your Spirit break the storms away and burst with an amazing light of joy, hope and love so bright, it takes our breath away.”

There is nothing left to say but… Amen